All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
