so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
