She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize