haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
