I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
