doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
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im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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