Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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