i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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