FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
