i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize