So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
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Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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