woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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