Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
