i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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