i jhust puked up my retainher.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
