She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
