I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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