Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
