when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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