her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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