you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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