The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
