YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
