she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
