"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
