i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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