anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Randomize
