there was a trapeze. enough said
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
