What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
