you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
