Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
