she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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