I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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