And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
bring money and cleavage
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
