But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
