I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She even gives head with a lisp.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
