i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize