please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
