why didn't you poke me back
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I had to cum in my sink.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
