but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
