i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
