So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
