You work out of a Hotel?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
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My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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