I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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