Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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