so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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