He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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