just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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