this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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