if i died would you start the facebook group?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
