Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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