So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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