I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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