She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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