so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
