Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
