I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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