wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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