My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize