Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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