A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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