He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I need a beard to bite.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
