it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
