So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize