he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
